Fulfillment

It is imperative for fulfillment to continue to grow. Often, we get to a place in our lives or our relationship and things seem to be good so we stop growing. We ride the wave of “getting to that place that we wanted to get to”. What happens at this point is we become complacent and questions like, Is this all there is? Why isn’t there any spontaneity? Do they even love me? These questions arise from complacency and the discontinuity of growth. If you are not growing you are stagnant.  No healthy relationship or for that matter happy life, stems from stagnation. In addition, mental health and physical health never stems from stagnation. You do not have to move mountains to grow. Daily little things can have a great impact on your overall fulfillment. Try little things like learn a new skill, take a class, make a new recipe, the list can go on and on. Find something that has meaning to you and start. Don’t wait for the “right time” to start because the time will never come. Just start anywhere, even if you don’t know what you are doing- you will learn.

Get your growth on!

Some really important information for the health of seniors

The link below is a guide to sexual health in retirement communities. This is an area of sexual health that is often left behind or left in the dark. This is sad because there is high risk in the senior population and there doesn’t have to be. Sex can be enjoyed responsibly and joyfully, well into one’s senior years, and one’s sexuality can be a very important part of overall happiness not to mention health and overall well-being.

Please have a look at the below information for some solid education on this topic!

Guide To Sexual Health in Retirement Communities

Deb

Event Alert! A Man's Guide to Intimacy webinar with over 20 experts! February 2, 2022

Bottom line: I suck with keeping up with a blog. Maybe that’s a good thing as it means I am busy or maybe that’s an excuse. Like anyone else…I am not perfect ; )

Buuuut… I am part of an even that I wanted to let you in on. A Man’s Guide To Intimacy is a webinar a friend and colleague is hosting starting February 2, 2022. The webinar has 20 experts discussing some really great topics for men (but women can learn a lot too).

Below is the link to check out!

https://amansguidetointimacy.com/amgi-feb-2022-opt-in/

Please join me as I’m interviewed by psychologist, Dr. Nancy Moonstarr, along with 20 top experts as part of a free series for your pleasure; A Man's Guide To Intimacy IV - Lets Talk About Sex! The Holy Grail of Intimacy.

I am excited to invite you as we ‘stand with’ men, offering secrets and intimacy advice for your advancement in today’s world of sensual delight. Relax in your chosen space for a dedicated on-line program supporting Men’s journey through intimacy -- conversation through penetration, AND THEN SOME.  

This NO COST series starts on February 2, 2022. A day considered to be especially lucky for those wishing to break into something new with your lover(s)!

Dr. Nancy Moonstarr is a skilled interviewer who digs deep and asks questions you want answered. You are provided an opportunity to learn things most men will never know. If you’re a woman or on any gender spectrum, you are sure to benefit from these modern #TimesRight Conversations as well. 

You can watch it online, no matter where you are.  

By attending, you’ll learn specific techniques, approaches, mindsets, and words that will change your life and create intimacy at a whole new level.  You’re about to experience fun, exciting, real conversations around:

• Monogamy and Polyamory Options
  

• Vanilla Plus Kinky Sex
  

• Childhood Trauma’s Effect in The Bedroom
  

• BDSM
  

• Stereotypes Men Get Slammed With
  

• Medical Interventions for Hardness
  

• Psychedelics for Erotic Customizing

Spring. A Time of Rebirth

Spring is here. The warmer weather, flowering trees and just all around growth! Spring is a great time to start therapy or a self- growth routine/ritual. Spring represents new beginnings. New beginnings can be many things from a new exercise program, dealign with trauma, exploring yourself more deeply, getting into yoga/meditation… the list can go on and on.

Take some time out after you are done reading this and think about a new beginning. Where do you want to “begin again?” Imagine there are no barriers, no one telling you no (including yourself)- what does your new beginning look like?

Write down one step you can take toward that new beginning. And spend the next couple weeks visualizing your end result- your goal. Make this. practice for 15 minutes everyday with no distractions.

This is a powerful and simple exercise for growth- You’ll see!

Is Porn Your Sex Educator?

I see this ALL the time from kids to adults. Unfortunately porn isn’t going anywhere…so…

You owe it to yourself to get proper sex education that will serve not only you but if you are partnered (to your partner). Think about all the myths we generally come to the table with about what sex should look like, sound like, smell like… the list goes on. When sex doesn’t meet your expectations the disappointment sets in and can have an impact on your sexual intelligence as well as your partner’s self esteem.

So, to start some awareness around this topic- ask yourself these questions:

1. What do I like about my body (while looking at it naked in a mirror).

2. What do you notice about your sexual feelings? Do you desire sex, ling for sex, to be touched, licked, kissed, etc

3. How do you like to be touched? How aware are you about how you liek to be touched? Do you touch yourself that way?

4. Do you believe sex us about what bodies do or more about how people feel? (the second one being the correct answer)

5. Sex involves a number of activities- Do you know which ones you like?

Other things you can do to minimize the impact of porn on sexuality is read a book (I said that with an attitude because I believe we are living in a world where too many people just scroll social media and their brains are going in the SHITTER!). Seriously, books like Sexual Intelligence by Marty Klein, Come As You Are by Emily Nagoski, Great Sex by Mike Castleman, mating in Captivity by Esther Perel to name a few. Read and educate yourself on this topic.

You can also learn to break out of your comfort zone and try new things, explore your body, your partner’s body, your belief systems (you may need a therapist to help with this)!

And of course, limit or stop watching porn so much. Read an erotic novel. Or hey, here’s a bright idea… Get creative and cultivate some exciting situations with your partner… (did I hear the doorbell ring? OH My must be the pizza guy let me take my clothes off now). Creativity is worth its weight in gold in the realm of sex. Play around with your thoughts and fantasies and come up with some great novel ideas!

Best to you!

Election Day

Can we all just stop the BS?

WE all want the same things- safety, rights, freedom, prosperity, peace, health, and growth. We fight for these things as a culture and in our relationships. No matter who you vote for today remember your intention. Go in that voting booth knowing that you have the best intentions for not only yourself but others.

Couples can get along when they are of different parties if they are mindful of the overall collective ideas mentioned above as well as knowing that who one votes for is not the defining factor of personhood.

I think as a culture as well as in relationships we need to learn HOW to respect differences. Not only with race, sexual orientation and identity, religion etc but differences in thought and perception. The fact is we are all different (and that’s ok). And, while we are different we all have similarities because we are human. It’s that “humanity” that we need to come together on (and not just in a crisis).

So if you are partnered, I invite you to have a calm conversation about intention with your partner. Open the door to connection in a time of disconnection. Understand them in a deeper way (this is a two way street). What are their hopes, dreams, fears? And, Why? This is how we get to connection and if we all did this we would be on the path to a “collective conscience” with the “right” to be an individual.

As always do your research and critically think not only about your candidate but also about your reason for being. No matter what, self-awareness is your biggest asset in your relationship and in your life.

Cheers to the best candidate and the prosperity of human beings.

Quick Relationship Maintenance

These are tough times for many.  It is fascinating over the last several months (in the age of COVID) how some relationships are flourishing and others are in serious danger of failing. Now more than ever is the time for maintenance for both self and relationships.

Bottom line: you have to be healthy to be in a healthy relationship. So, now more than every it is important to care for yourself.  Ask yourself: What am I doing for myself that is helping me feel good and grow? Growth is imperative for happiness as it is not a need of the ego, it is a need of the spirit. If you are not growing you are…. Dying (in theory).

These are some things to try:

Grounding. Go out in nature, take a walk, connect with your surroundings, breath in fresh air and collect your thoughts and energy.

Take 30 minutes a day for just you. In that 30 minutes do something that makes you feel good, be it exercise, your favorite television show, talking to a friend that makes you laugh. 

Everyday do something that inspires you. Inspiration raises vibrational frequencies of happiness.

This is the energy you can learn to bring into your relationship instead of stale negative energy.

When it comes to your relationship, imagine each of you knowing each other’s top two needs- to be happy in a relationship. If you do not know these then ask your partner.

Actively meet these needs (as best as you can, this is not about perfection). Imagine if both of you are putting that effort into the relationship. When couples are conscious of meeting each other’s needs both parties feel wanted, energized, and cared for.  This is part of what s called “conscious love” and now more than ever we need to be consciously loving our partners (and ourselves).

Start with you. Follow the guidance above. Then figure out or remind each other what your top two needs are in a relationship and actively work on those for your partner.  This is “relationship mindfulness” and it is necessary for a vibrant relationship.

Remember, nothing grows without care, not you, not your relationship(s).

 *Active Love versus Passive Love (Think about this phrase).