"...Life is too short to allow the violations, losses, misunderstandings, distortions, and disappointments of the past to dictate our course moving forward." -Dr. David Simon "Free to Love Free To Heal"
We are well into the New Year and I hope that you are doing AWESOME!
It’s been a little while since I wrote because my schedule can get a little heavy at times. Writing a blog has been gnawing at my brain for a couple months now and when I came across the above quote I knew it was time.
Life is short. We know this. Yet, we allow so many things to destroy our daily happiness and we hold on to it for years- sometimes a lifetime. Violations, losses, misunderstandings can obstruct our future and leave us feeling bitter. That bitterness is often pervasive and can rear its head in so many areas of our lives, such as our physical and mental health.
So, as I think about how short life is and how so many people hold on to damage, I question how do you really get rid of the past so you can move forward?
I want to keep this as simple as possible.
First, the past has happened. We can’ change it but we can change our decisions moving forward. This is the first step and the most necessary. Often, not only what has happened to us haunts us but many people stay mad at themselves and get into a pattern of self-deprecating behaviors (negative self-talk).
I read a quote many years ago that stated something like “If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend 5 minutes of your time on it.” This is Second and it’s really important. Is what you are spending your time obsessing about going to matter in 5 years from now? If the answer is No (it likely will be) then let it go.
Third,Let It Go. How the hell do you do that? Well, after mastering the first and second above, the only thing left to do is meditate. Yes, meditate. Get a guided meditation on letting go or forgiveness (these are easy to find on YouTube) and spend some time with it every day until the feelings subside (usually about a week or two).
Lastly, DO NOT surround yourself with the people, places, and things that remind you of the situation. Grow in a different direction. Become YOU. A new and improved YOU.
If you take these action steps you will move forward fairly smoothly. Remember, if you take action you create movement. If you take no action, you stay stagnant. What are you going to do?