I’m going to keep this simple. I want you to really think about this and be brutally honest with yourself.
A Healthy Relationship is on where you take the time to listen to your partner. You are present and aware of their needs. You actively search for ways to please your partner and make them a priority. When it comes to a gift you actively (consciously) put thought into the process of choosing what to get your loved one. You are kind, you express your feelings (the good, the bad, and the ugly) in a mindful way. You touch your partner regularly. You look at them with love (ever hear of a smile?).
A “Hurried Relationship” is, well, just the opposite. There is no thought (or not much). You don’t think about what would please them. You don’t listen to them (or rarely do). On Valentine’s day you do the status quo- roses. No thought. You’re not interested in touching them or seeing them happy and comfortable. Or maybe comfort is all you can give (or think you can give) through paying for material things. You are rarely positive, can be jealous of your partner’s success (happiness, friends, lifestyle, etc).
I see both types of relationships. Therapy is not (I repeat) IS NOT just about broken relationships- Often, healthy relationships want to improve even more (that’s some serious priority right there)! “Hurried Relationships” are usually in a 911 situation (whether they know it or not). You can not sustain any type of relationship with “Hurried Relationship” dynamics. You’re in your own way.
So, think about where you are. Again, be brutally honest because that’s where change happens. Once you see your SELF and your relationship with honesty, the next step is to figure out what you want. Do you want to stand still? Or do you want Healthy? What’s your vision?
Self- awareness is hard for a lot of people, change is even harder for some. It can be done though. Take the first two steps. Be brutally honest and what’s your vision?
Get at it!
Deb